Meeting The Future
by MasterMind v.2.0
Summary: Writing a journal entry for Nagi's school, Yohji talks about his first crush on another male. But he doesn't know that this old innocent crush holds a presence in his current life. A very large presence. Semi AU, SchuldigYohji


_italics_ journal entry

**_italic bold_** thoughts

A/N: I don't own Weiß. Don't remind me.

This is slight AU, with Yohji living in America as a young adult - later moving to Japan. He still lands up being an assassin, but Schwarz and Weiß have put aside their differences and are cooperating now.

Pairings: Schuldig/Yohji, Nagi/Omi, Yohji/Asuka (in past), Yohji/random girls (past)

Genre: Romance/Drama ; SAP! Beware the sap...

_Journal Entry 15: Nagi Naoe_

_Prompt: Have either a family friend or distant relative (cousins and grandparents are not distant) write about either_

_the first time they fell in love_

_the first time they had their heart broken/broke somebody's heart._

Yohji stared at the blank pages of paper before him and sighed. **_Why does Nagi always choose me to do these assignments? I must've done something to piss the kid off pretty bad..._**

Now, what could he write about? Writing about the flower shop girls probably wouldn't be a good idea, because he was pretty sure they were all underage, and that stuff was probably frowned upon. Plus, it was an act. Writing about things that really didn't happen wasn't that fun. Writing about his current lover, Schuldig, probably wouldn't be good either. According to records everywhere, Schuldig didn't exist – at all. He had told Yohji once that his old name had been wiped from databases around the world. Schuldig wasn't technically a human being.

Yohji turned and gazed around his room. When his eyes saw his bookcase leaning against one wall, he saw the large collection of sketchbooks he'd used over the years. He instantly thought of a topic to write about.

_Love is confusing. Girls surround our smallest workers all the time and flirt with them. Whenever I see them, I just want to walk up to them and yell – really loudly- that they're gay, they love each other, and the most they ever want to see of you is the sketch of you being murdered they drew on their homework._

He looked toward his wall, in the general direction of Omi and Nagi's room, where evil laughter and general screeching was being heard. He shook his head and returned to his writing.

_I think I'd be annoyed in their situation. If I went to school...and if I liked girls._

Yohji glanced over at the framed picture of him and Schuldig sleeping on the couch. They still had to get Ran and Ken back for that.

_Big surprise there. The great playboy Yohji Kudou, never sleeps with women...well, anymore. I guess you can say I used to, but that's only because I had to keep it secret, being gay in high school isn't the easiest life I could think of._

_Men have always appealed to me, but no one around here knows because almost everyone I've told about my sexual orientation has abandoned me. My father kicked me out of the house – 'he didn't want no fuckin' fairies living under his roof'. _

_It was only an innocent crush on one of my classmates- I was an eleventh grader, it was only natural to want to experiment. I wasn't an innocent, in most regards. I had quite a few girlfriends back then, and we would fool around. _

_I did almost everything to my girls; I kissed them, stared at them, touched and licked at them, but I never let them touch me. Hugs and kisses and the like were okay, but if they tried anything else, they'd get gently pushed away and told with a smile that 'they didn't have to do anything, I like to give more than receive, that's just the kind of person I am...' And then like any other aroused human being, their minds instantly believed it, and they'd lie back down and spread their legs again, forgetting all about my 'pleasure' and only thinking of their own. And I'd quickly dart my face back in between their legs and lap at them until they forgot that I'd ever said anything._

_I'd always stop right before they reached their orgasms. I'd brought a girl to completion once, and I absolutely abhorred the taste. I despised it more that whatever it was that they sold in the fast food restaurants near my house. So I would never taste anymore of them than I had to._

Yohji cringed as the memory of the flavor appeared in his mouth. He walked downstairs to the kitchen to get a glass of wine, before returning upstairs and resuming his writing.

_When I'd get up, I'd be met with their disappointed moans; still deepened with lust. I'd just smirk at them, and whisper in a voice they thought was seductive (but really wasn't...), 'Better luck next time, babe.'_

_There generally never was a next time, though._

He took a large sip of his wine, as he steeled his nerves to write what had happened after those nameless girls were said and done.

_I thought I'd found love with a woman once. Her name was Asuka, and when I first saw her, I thought she was the most beautiful and perfect woman on the planet. I wanted to be with her so badly, I even surprised myself._

_I found myself being more chivalrous than usual; holding doors open for her, giving her rides to and from school; buying her presents whenever I could; I thought I'd do anything for her._

More wine slid down his throat as he remembered those days when he and Asuka were happy.

_After we'd been together for eight months, he came. _

_He was an exchange student from Germany, and his English was pretty bad._

Yohji heard yelling coming up from the basement. It sounded like Schuldig and Crawford were arguing again. Schuldig was trying to curse Crawford out in English, and it wasn't working out so well, judging by Crawford's laughter. Schuldig's English was pretty horrible.

_The first thing he said to the class when the teacher had finished introducing him was 'I'm Christoph, and I don't want to be here.' In quite broken, slow English. _

_I loved his voice from the first time I heard it. That loud, slightly nasal tenor voice, which sounded annoyed yet self-assured at the same time. _

_I hadn't looked at his face, for I was too busy staring at my sketchbook, working on yet another drawing of Asuka._

_I heard his footsteps near me, and the dual thumps as first his backpack and then his body hit his desk. I looked up to see exactly what the new person sitting next to me looked like exactly. I never expected to like him – I usually had trouble getting along with guys. But I was amazed once I looked over._

_He was beautiful. In a slightly effeminate, yet definitely masculine way. Green hair down to his shoulders, and bright blue eyes. He looked over at me, gave me a questioning look then shook his head and went back to his work – which mainly consisted of glaring at the teacher while she talked._

There was a knock at Yohji's door.

"Yeah, come in!"

Schuldig opened the door and poked his head in. Red hair flopped over, covering much of his face. "Do you mind if I stay in here with you for a bit? Crawford's being snippy again. I don't think the stick up his ass likes Nagi very much."

Yohji laughed. "Of course, Schu. You're not a distraction."

_A bit later in class that same day, he fell asleep. Hunched over, with one hand cradling his head and the other off the edge of the desk._

Yohji glanced over at Schuldig, who had curled up in their bed, and had managed to fall asleep in a manner of seconds. He shook his head, realizing Schuldig must have been tired after the night they'd had before.

_I saw him out of the corner of my eye and just had to draw him. I quietly crumpled up my unfinished drawing of Asuka and started to sketch an outline of the boy next to me._

_He was so much easier to draw, and not just because Asuka was being drawn from a memory. His features just came naturally to me, each distinct one becoming immortalized on paper. _

_I started to want to know this boy._

He stood up and made his way over to the bookcase, where he pulled one of his sketchbooks off the shelf, and flipped it open to that first sketch. Christoph's sleeping face stared back at him. He smiled before closing the book and returning it to the shelf. Glancing over at Schuldig, he grinned. He looked so innocent; so everything that the German was not when he was awake. Schuldig was sprawled out across the bed, one arm hanging over each side.

Yohji reached for his latest sketchbook, before he stopped. Sadly, he still had work to do. Nagi couldn't graduate all on his own. Setting the sketchbook back down, he walked over to the bed, leaned over and lightly kissed Schuldig on the forehead.

_A few months passed and Christoph and I had bonded. We never went inside each other's houses, but we'd talk at school. In class, we'd complain about the teachers, and at lunch, I helped him decide what to buy or what would kill him and what wouldn't. We shared quite a few laughs._

_It worried me first, when I realized I was falling in love with him. It didn't worry me as much after I got used to it. It was weird waking up with my sheets a mess after dreaming about Christoph instead of Asuka. I never remembered my Asuka dreams, and if I ever did, I didn't understand why._

_I didn't want to do those things with her. But those dreams about Christoph, I remembered and wanted them. I wanted him. During lunch, I'd always talk and sit with him, and I rarely saw Asuka. _

_She started to notice eventually, and one day she finally pulled me aside to talk about it. I remember that day quite clearly._

"_Yohji, I'm starting to think you may not care for me as much as you used to..." _

_And I looked down at the ground and whispered, "I'm sorry, Asuka. I'm starting to seriously question my sexuality...I'm so sorry." She laughed at me._

"_I kind of thought something like that. The way you follow Christoph around just isn't a normal straight guy's idea of fun, ya know." _

_I looked up and blushed. "You won't tell him, will you? That I like him, I mean."_

_She nodded once. "Of course not. It can be our little secret. Scaredy-cat! Hah. Just kidding. But seriously, do you just want to be friends again, Yohji-kun? It won't hurt me any if you say yes."_

_I nodded once. "I'm sorry, Asuka." She hugged me once then smiled and walked away. And I felt free._

_Christoph walked by and I ran to catch up, knowing that I could do so without worrying about ignoring Asuka. I was surprised to see that he was crying. I'd never seen him even be sad before. He never showed any weak emotions._

Yohji heard a whimper from the bed behind him, and turned around. Slight tears were running down Schuldig's face. Yohji sighed, and turned his eyes down. He didn't dare wake Schuldig, he just allowed him to sleep. Schuldig never showed his weakness until he slept, then some nights he just kept crying. Yohji never bothered to ask, figuring when Schuldig wanted to tell him he would. It was none of Yohji's business.

_When I asked him what was wrong, he didn't answer, and just kept walking. Eventually, we got to our spot outside, and he collapsed. I was shocked, and without thinking, I crouched down and hugged him. He stared at me for a second, and then put his head on my shoulder. _

_He sighed lightly. "Yohji, I don't want to go back..."_

_He was going back home, and I realized I'd probably never see him again. I didn't want that to happen. I just held him and let him cry. While telling him that I didn't want him to leave either. He was clutching a paper in one hand, and I reached for it._

_I only saw a glimpse of it before he quickly pulled it away. 'Mission Complete. Come home, Christoph. C' I was confused, but before I could ask he ran away. _

"_I'll walk home today, Yohji! See you tomorrow! I watched in silence as he ran off. _

_The next day, Asuka never showed up. She didn't show up the next day either, and she wasn't at home when I called. In fact, her parents said they hadn't seen her at all the past few days, but they had assumed she was with me. I paused, then lied to them and said that she'd just shown up- she'd been at a friend's home out of town. They thanked me, and we hung up._

_I was depressed the rest of the evening, because Christoph was leaving and Asuka was missing. Plus, I had a bad feeling about Asuka's disappearance. I was afraid that I'd never see her again._

_Fast forward to Friday. Asuka's been gone four days and it was Christoph's last. The mood in class was melancholy and instead of his normal impassioned glaring, Christoph just sat there and did his work, which was rare. Of course, I have the feeling that he did it in German, just to annoy the teacher._

Schuldig stretched as he woke up. "Hallo, Yohji. Wie spät ist es? Eh, err. What time is it?"

Yohji laughed. "It's 11:00pm, Schu."

The German got up from the bed. "Well, better go get myself something to eat then. Can I see what you're writing?"

Sighing, Yohji shook his head. "Actually, I'd prefer it if you didn't just yet. Let Nagi see it first. Plus, I don't think you'd like it very much." Schuldig laughed, and walked out the door, shutting it behind him.

_I just sat at my desk and drew. I drew everything I could – Asuka, Christoph, the kid on the other side of me that I never bothered to talk to. I wanted to remember that day. It was the last day I had to tell the truth, but I was too chicken to tell him. I wonder what would've happened if I had. But there's really no point in thinking about it now. This all happened eight years ago._

_The clearest memory I have of that day is what happened after school. It certainly surprised me. I'd just gotten out of my last class and was putting away my stuff in my locker. I then suddenly felt a hand on my shoulder and my name whispered._

"_Hey, Yohji." I turned around and saw Christoph standing there, and it looked like there were a few tears in his eyes. _

"_Hey, Christoph." My voice broke, and Christoph smiled a bit._

"_Warum bist du so schön?" I didn't understand what that meant until much later. Two years ago, in fact. 'Why are you so beautiful?' If I'd known what that meant then, maybe I wouldn't have been so surprised by what happened next._

_Quickly, he pushed me back against my locker and kissed me. The kiss was rough, and slightly harsh, but it felt right. Finally, he broke away and we were panting heavily, desperately out of breath. I slid down to the floor and looked up at him. He seemed different somehow; like that kiss had killed something deep inside of him. He no longer had unshed tears in his eyes; his smile had lost its friendly edge, instead replaced with a malicious grin and cold sapphire colored eyes._

_I stared up at him. "Why'd you do that, Christoph?" He smirked at me. _

"_Because I could." Then he turned and walked off. "Tchao, Yotan." I just sat there in confusion. Now I think I should've run after him. It would have been smarter. But I just sat there. You'd think that I would've been smarter, and realized that something was wrong with him._

_I got up slowly, grabbed my backpack and ran off. I didn't want to be in the school anymore. Two weeks later I received a postcard._

'_Hallo, Yohji. For the record, I did kiss you because I wanted to, not because I 'just could'. I don't know if I'll ever be able to see/write you again, but just know- Ich liebe dich. _

_Love,_

_Christoph'_

_That was the last I ever heard of him. I still wonder what happened to him and where he is now._

_Asuka's dead body was found two months later in the riverbed. No one ever figured out what happened. I don't like to talk about that very much._

_If I saw Christoph today, I'd just tell him that I loved him as well, but I'm happy with my lover now. I just hope he's as happy as I am. _

_End Journal Entry 15 – Yohji Kudou._

Yohji yawned, and walked over to the bed and flopped over, almost instantly drifting off to sleep.

Schuldig walked into the bedroom unnoticed and went over to the desk, picking up the journal. He sat down on the chair as he started to read.

The further he read, the more his smile grew. He let out a slight chuckle as he reached the end.

He walked over and stood next to their bed where Yohji was currently sleeping. "I know where Christoph is, Yohji. He's just as happy as you are, and in fact, he's standing right next to you, talking to you now. He just goes by a different name now. But maybe that's something I should just keep to myself." He grinned and laughed a bit under his breath, before curling up next to Yohji and falling back into sleep.

An hour later, Nagi creaked open the door and quickly rushed in, grabbed the notebook and ran. He didn't want to be near the couple any longer than he had to be, no one knew when they were going to wake up and start making noise again. Nagi sighed as he rushed back to his bedroom, where Omi lay on the bed waiting for him. Time to beat Yohji and Schuldig at their own game.

_Fini_

A/N: Comments aren't necessary, but they help... don't you want to make the authoress feel good about herself?


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